Doing: Reading 06
For this week's reading task we'll be using the themes that we have identified from our code document to write paragraphs using the annotated bibliographies as our content.
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| Video games |
What I've written for this week's reading task I can say that I'm content with what I've written. Using the content from the bibliographies. The themes that I have identified really helped in formulating my paragraphs.
One thing that I've noticed from writing the paragraphs was that for some of my themes I find myself not having nearly enough to write. The research is there yet there isn't enough to make content out of it. To resolve this, I went back to my articles and read through them again in order to find more content in relation to the themes that were lacking information. Since writing this blog I've added some more additional information for both physical activity and mental health in relation to the health benefits of playing video games.
So I read your latest post where you mentioned not being a huge fan of constructive criticism. I feel you on that XD. But here I am anyway! I don’t like giving unwanted feedback to people because I feel like I might sound like a jerk when I do. But I hope you can take away something good from it ;)
ReplyDeleteI split my feedback based on your coloured paragraphs to make it easier.
Red: Good intro on the theme you’re going to discuss. Make sure you back up your statements in the second paragraph on aggressive behaviour, poor school performance etc by adding reference to prove your point. Also if you did mention the other two negative effects (addiction and obesity) then you may want to add some info on them as well. The conclusion seems like another statement that could lead on to something else. If you’re going to keep it, it might need a reference from one of the papers you read.
Blue: The blue paragraph is a nice introduction to the positive aspects what you’re going to talk about in your next paragraphs.
Yellow: You stated a good point there on why video games can help people but it doesn’t explain HOW. An example of a video game used in physiotherapy with reference will back you up on what you mentioned.
Green: Similar to yellow, a reference is needed. I noticed that hyper link you put in there. If there’s a useful info then stick in a reference or quote from there.
Orange: You referenced Pacman and Donkey Kong which is good. I’d say also add what cognitive skills they helped improve if the paper you read mentions that as well. It can be used to your advantage.
Purple: Same as green. You have added links to back up your point. Try to include some piece of info from those links that proves what you mentioned about stress and positive mental health.
Overall I liked the way you wrote about the topic. It’s clear well written